01 / MOBILE
No phone.
No problem.
Scammers can't call a phone you don't own. Your screen-time report has never looked better.
NOT AVAILABLE ON THE APP STOREIntroducing elimination-as-a-service™ NS—001
The safest
system is
no system.
Worried about your digital life? We secure your systems by getting rid of them. No phone, no phishing. No data, no ransom. Finally, a security strategy with fewer moving parts.
* A satirical website. Please keep your backups.
FIG. 01 / THE FINAL FIREWALLCLASSIFICATION: ABSENT
THREAT
REMOVEDBY REMOVING EVERYTHING
REMOVEDBY REMOVING EVERYTHING
N 00° 00′ 00″
ASSET: NOT FOUND
ATTACK SURFACE∅EST. LESS THAN BEFORE
01 / THE PHILOSOPHYPROBLEM, SOLVED.
THE INDUSTRY ADDS LAYERS.
WE REMOVE THEM.
Less tech.
Less to hack.
Everyone else wants to sell you a new dashboard to protect your old dashboard. We took a different path: what if there was no dashboard? No password to reset. No suspicious link to click. No smart toaster quietly joining a botnet.
It's not zero trust. It's zero stuff.
YOUR DIGITAL FOOTPRINTYOUR DIGITAL FOOTPRINTPEACE & QUIET*
* Not a mathematically or legally binding guarantee of peace and quiet.
02 / WHAT WE DON'T OFFERAN ELEGANTLY SMALL PORTFOLIO
The less
you have, the less
we do.
Our suite of imaginary solutions meets you wherever your attack surface used to be.
No phone.
02 / STORAGE
No data.
No ransom.
Has someone encrypted your files? Our wholly impractical proposal: have no files to encrypt.
BACKUPS STILL RECOMMENDED03 / INFRASTRUCTURE
No cloud.
No incident.
Your data can't be exposed in a cloud bucket if there is no bucket. Meteorology wins again.
UPTIME: NOT APPLICABLE03 / INTERACTIVE DEMOTHE VANISHING ACT
Let's reduce
your imaginary
footprint.
Tap the assets you'd hypothetically retire. Watch the demo footprint shrink in real time. No accounts, no uploads, no actual deletion.
Illustration only. This is not a security assessment or advice to discard important records.
FOOTPRINT REDUCTION SIMULATORLOCAL DEMO / 001
DEMO ASSETS REMAINING04/ 04
A bold security strategy awaits.
NOSECURITY / OFFICIAL-LOOKING PAPERWORK
Certificate of
Doing Less
This certifies that you in a fictional exercise. Nothing was deleted, secured, or uploaded.
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY · NOT A SECURITY CERTIFICATION04 / OUR PROVEN PROCESS**PROVEN TO MAKE THIS PAGE SHORTER
An end-to-end
end-to-end.
01
Identify
Find the devices, data, and accounts taking up space in your threat model.
02
Question
Ask whether you actually need a Wi-Fi-enabled appliance to make toast.
03
Keep what matters
In real life, retain essentials and backups. In our joke, everything vanishes.
A NEW STANDARD IN HAVING LESS TO WORRY ABOUT
The future of
security is offline.
Welcome to NoSecurity. Safety in the modern era, with just a little less modern era.
Try the demo05 / REASONABLE QUESTIONSUNUSUALLY HONEST ANSWERS
Wait.
Seriously?
Is NoSecurity a real cybersecurity service?
No. This is a satirical website, not a company offering protection. Reducing unnecessary data and devices can be sensible, but real security takes thoughtful controls, backups, and good judgment.
Will this site delete any of my data?
Absolutely not. The simulator only changes what you see on this page. It does not access your devices or accounts, and it does not submit your choices to a server.
Should I actually get rid of my phone and files?
Probably not. Keep what you need. Before disposing of devices or deleting data, consider backups, retention requirements, accessibility, and a real security plan. The joke is about the industry's tendency to pile technology on top of technology.
Can I get a certificate anyway?
Of course. Select at least one asset in the simulator and we'll generate a magnificent, entirely meaningless certificate you can print.